Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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