i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
