If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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