Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
someone owes me an orgasm
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
