so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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