About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
