i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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