remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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