remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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