no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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