Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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