I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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