Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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