I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
