I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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