I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
