I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
