So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
