what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
