I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
