i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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