Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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