MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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