I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
handjob tips. give me some.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
