quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
