I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my being single is dangerous.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she peed on how many people?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
