You're a womanizer and a bitch.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
