worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize