Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
