I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
