If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
