...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
