Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
