there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
