I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
