i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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