yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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