Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you will always have a special place in my vag
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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