The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
