you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
