If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
