Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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