you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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