Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
