They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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