I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
