I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
