weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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