Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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