I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
