hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize