i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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