I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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