He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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