i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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