I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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