try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
