So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
