He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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