Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
