There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
