those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
