Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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