batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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