I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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