we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
